How to end emotional eating
Have you ever reached for a bar of chocolate when you are having a stressful day?
Or perhaps you have found yourself at the end of a large bag of crisps while cramming for a big exam? Or devoured a whole tub of ice cream following an argument with someone? If this sounds familiar, then chances are you have experienced emotional eating.
Whether you have found yourself eating out of boredom, habit or emotion – you are not alone. Most of us have been there. However, when emotional eating becomes a frequent behaviour, it can lead to significant issues such as weight gain, blood sugar imbalances and poor nutrition.
If you find that you regularly lean on food as a means to soothe and/or avoid uncomfortable emotions, then this can have further implications for your psychological and social well being over time.
When we are stressed and cortisol is high we tend to gravitate towards sweet or fatty food combinations. Why is it that we don’t reach out for broccoli and carrots when we are stressed?
Its about the sugar-serotonin connection
Serotonin is made from an amino acid called tryptophan, which is the rarest amino acid in our diet. And the amino acid transporter that gets tryptophan into the brain is easily perturbed. If you're serotonin-deficient and depressed, you're going to want to boost your serotonin any way you can.
Eating more carbohydrate, especially sugar, initially does double duty it facilitates tryptophan transport, and it generates a dopamine response for pleasure in the short-term.
But as the dopamine signal down-regulates, more sugar is needed for the same effect, driving a vicious cycle of consumption to generate a pleasure that withers in the face of persistent unhappiness.
So, why do I struggle with emotional eating?
It's a response to something missing in our lives. You fill yourself up with food because you're bored, lonely, sad, guilty, feeling shame, or even happy. When you don't allow yourself enough pleasure or connection in your life, your body reacts.
It knows it's missing something, so in pops the chocolate craving. Or smoking. Or alcohol. It's not always food; we all have our own way of dealing with things our way of blanketing those uncomfortable feelings that we don’t want to deal with.
Dieting too is a negative coping mechanism, but an all too common one because we are told that making our bodies smaller will lead to happiness, success, love and acceptance. In reality, dieting and restricting food does the opposite It strips all the pleasure away from food and makes us unhappy. Consider this: Eating is emotional,
Food is not just nutrition and fuel for our bodies it is part of our history, our culture, our family. Food is something that is meant to be enjoyed for the taste and pleasure it brings us, not for the vitamins minerals or fibre it provides.
Cooking, baking and eating are all ways in which we connect with others and care for ourselves and for the people we love. Emotional eating patterns are learned for example a child who is rewarded with ice-cream for doing well on a test, may grow up using ice-cream as a reward for doing a good job.
Similarly, a child who was given a chocolate bar as a means to stop crying, may tie feelings of comfort with chocolate. This early programming is hardwired into our brains so when we are feeling low its no wonder we turn to food its how we were bought up.
I remember the times when I emotionally overate, I had soulless meaningless jobs that I hated and so used to eat sugary rich foods to make myself feel better, after an argument with a boyfriend as soon as I could I would stuff myself with anything sweet, it was always my go to however Instead of judging or shaming yourself for indulging, explore the situation.
Get curious about what need or desire your trying to fulfil
Address that directly If you're craving connection, plan a girls' night. If you're craving pleasure pamper yourself, if your feeling lonely pick up the phone and speak to a friend. If you have had a bad day who can you vent to? Maybe going to the gym and doing a boxercise class would help to let out the frustration of the day.
If your in a crappy job look at the choices and opportunities to change this, following your dreams and goals? Getting a better job where it doesn’t suck the life blood out of you.
Of course this isn't the "quick and easy" solution, but it IS a way to connect with your body and understand its needs and desires.
Believe me, I've tried to control and restrain myself, and it doesn’t work it only makes the monster bigger. If I didn’t eat the food it literally calls me from the kitchen. Kam I’m here eat me, and when I restrain the voice in my head gets louder and louder till I cave in. It doesn’t matter if I hide it or put it out of reach.
The only path I'm interested in these days is connecting to my desires and fulfilling my needs and stopping for a moment to consider what is it I’m REALLY HUNGRY FOR?
Because guess what it’s never food. Lets explore some areas where you may be struggling and some solutions to help you navigate your way through emotional eating.
Are you eating mindlessly?
Emotional eating can be a direct result of not being conscious of what or why you’re eating. I call this Unconscious eating it’s when you’re done with your meal, and you continue to pick at it, slowly eating the remaining portion that you intended to leave behind or picking food from your child’s plate because they left it.
Or simply eating food lying around just because it’s there, sound familiar? The solution? Try to remain mindful of what and when you are eating, I ask my clients to fill out an emotional food journal where you track what and when you eat and your emotional mood at that time so you can identify your triggers.
A great book that helped me with mindfulness in all areas of my life is mindfulness a practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world.
Is Food Your Only Pleasure?
I’ve often asked people what they would have to feel if they did not binge or overeat, and the common answer is, “I would have nothing to look forward to.” And at the end of a long and hectic day, a big bowl of ice cream can be especially effective in temporarily soothing our exhausted, hard-working selves. Why?
According to many sources eating sugars and fats releases opioids in our brains. Opioids are the active ingredients in cocaine, heroin, and many other narcotics. So the calming, soothing effects you feel when you eat ice cream and cookies.
And breaking these habits can be like kicking a drug habit. Click on this link to find out more.
The solution? Find other ways to reward and soothe yourself besides food and other self-destructive behaviours.
Will these other ways be as effective at soothing you as food? Possibly, however there are a wide range of therapies that can really help make an impact on your emotional attachment to food.
The modality I use with clients is EFT ( emotional freedom technique) take a look at this utube video by Dawson Church to learn more.
This has been a game changer for a lot of my clients and has changed my life it has such a powerful impact and is long lasting meaning once you resolve the issue you have which can take a few sessions you will no longer feel that emotional charge around food or your attachment to it.
Do you hate your body?
It may sound counter intuitive, but it’s true: Hating your body is one of the biggest factors in emotional eating. Negativity, shame, and hatred rarely inspire people to make long-lasting great changes, especially when it comes to our bodies or our sense of self.
Many people tell me they will stop hating their body after they reach their goal weight. I say you have to stop hating your body before you can stop the emotional eating cycle. The solution?
Unfortunately, this one is multi-layered, complicated, and unique for each person.
To truly make permanent progress in this area I strongly suggest using EFT therapy take a look at this utube video by Brad Yates, this was the video that helped me overcome my body shame, I did follow the video a few times but it worked, so I no longer have those days where I look in the mirror and hate what I see, infact it’s the opposite.
Do you emotionally overeat because you are lonely?
Reach out, realise that loneliness is a prevalent issue and you are not alone in how you are feeling. nourishing your soul is key to resolve this issue.
Take some time to figure out ways in which you might start to reach out. Could you join a class? Have you always wanted to learn Salsa or become a Yogi?
Sharing a common interest is a great way to connect with new people. If this feels like too much, maybe you could join an online group; or perhaps commit to saying ‘hello’ to one new person everyday and getting yourself comfortable with the art of small talk.
You may find that as you reach out and begin to feel more connected, your need to comfort through food will wane, as your needs and desires become met in other ways. You can find local groups covering many interests and activities on the website www.meet-up.com.
What are some positive coping mechanisms?
They can include physical activity, sleep, reading, writing, drawing, getting outdoors, spending time with friends. Food has an impact on the way we feel, which means it is a totally natural thing to use as a coping mechanism but its not always healthy.
1. Cultivate multiple coping skills.
When you have no other coping skills outside of food, you don't feel empowered to make a choice, and emotional eating can become a crutch. Hence the importance of developing several different coping skills that you can call upon during times of stress, boredom, anger, anxiety or other emotions.
Coping mechanisms can fall into several buckets including connection, action, soothing or pleasure. For example, my coping skills include Connection: Calling my mom, going out to dinner with a friend or talking to a family member via facetime. Action: Going for a walk, lifting weights, taking a yoga class, having a good cry. Soothing: Listening to music, watching "Sex and the City," sitting in the park or reading a book.
Pleasure: treating yourself to something pretty, dressing up to go out somewhere, cuddling up with your dog on the sofa watching Netflix, anything that you enjoy and gives you pleasure that’s non food related.
Emotional eating is a powerful and effective way to find temporary relief from many of life’s challenges. If it didn’t work so well, no one would do it. In order to stop this cycle of emotional eating, you have to make a commitment to reach deep inside yourself to find a place of grit and strength, and hopefully the above reminders can assist you in your journey.
Here is a great article about how nutrition can help emotional eating.
If you need one to one coaching on emotional eating click here to book your discovery call to see how I can help.
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